Just Lucky, I Guess
“You’re so pretty, why are you single?” “How is a girl like you not married?” “When are you going to start having babies, you’re not getting any younger you know.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard those statements I would never have to work another day in my life. I wouldn’t be in school and I wouldn’t be writing this paper.
Why is it that because I’m a 32 year old woman, single, no children and never married that there must be something wrong with me? When did being single turn into a bad thing? When did not wanting to have children turn into a crime?
I was never one of those little girls that dreamt about or acted out her wedding day in her bedroom. While my girlfriends were playing house and Barbie dolls, I was out with the boys, climbing trees, playing in the mud, chasing the cows in the field, feeding chickens and riding horses. I owned ONE doll in my entire life and guess what, I never touched it. I was more interested in helping my dad work on his motorcycle and fix cars than staying indoors talking to a doll that would never respond.
My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. Perhaps that has something to do with my lack of interest in getting married, or, maybe it’s the fact that most of my friends’ parents are divorced as well, or maybe, just maybe (gasp) I don’t mind being single! I suppose some guy may come along and sweep me off of my feet one day, but until that day happens, I will enjoy every ounce of my singlehood. Sure, I’ve been in long term relationships, the longest being seven years, but I never had the dying need to take it to the next level. I guess my gut knows when it’s not right.
Let me share with you the benefits of being a single lady with no children:
- My money is my money. I spend it when I want to, on whatever I want to,
- I can make last minute plans anytime I want to, go wherever I want to and not come home for days if I don’t want to,
- I can go on a date every night of the week and flirt with whomever I want,
- I can sleep in as late as I want, take the whole bed and hog all of the covers,
- I can focus on my career without any hassles or guilt,
- I am not a football widow.
Sure, there are times when I think it would be nice to settle down, have children, etc., but then I realize how much fun I’m having in my life right now. I’m still building my future, still focusing on making me better and getting me to the point in my life where I’m happy. I’m 32 and I only just realized what profession I want to be in for the rest of my working life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the married life and I’m not against it. There are benefits to being married for sure such as the following that I found on a so-called relationship site:
- A full social calendar
- Laughs
- Encouragement when I’m down
- Amazing kids
- Someone to be impulsive with
- Some one to grow old with
Those few examples are great, but I have all of that with my friends. The bottom line here is that marriage isn’t for me, at least not right now. Children are not in my future (by choice) and if I decide at age 52 that I want a child, I will adopt.
So, the next time someone asks me “why aren’t you married yet“, my response will be “just lucky, I guess.”
Nicole, I'll make comments on content in a day or two. As for grammar (by no means the most important thing to worry about, but in some ways the easiest to deal with, being mostly black and white): everything looks fine here in a quick read.
ReplyDeletehi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThis is great. I really like the way you open the essay with quotes... we dive right into it, so the reader feels involved immediately.
The last line of this piece is EXCELLENT in my opinion. It's sharp, witty, and it brings it back around to the opening again... a perfect ending!!!
I'm wondering if maybe it would be worth it to put the benefits of a relationship (the 2nd part of the essay) first and the benefits of singleness second so that you've just given us all the positives right before you call yourself "lucky". just an idea :)
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteWhen I come back to thin again, I'm impressed by how fluently this is written and how strong your voice is. Good use of details esp. in para. 3!
(Actually, it's interesting that this fits into Essay 5 assignment--argument against convention--and it reads a little more like an argument, for me, than a personal essay. The bullet points at end seem a little out of place for me in a personal essay?? Though, of course, these forms aren't pure and distinct...)
You do take on quite a broad canvas here, to explain and "defend" your own single-hood. The parts that draw me in as a reader are more the "closer" details of your childhood (I'm not sure I'm expressing myself too well here...) I wonder if you might focus this a bit more narrowly by describing a particular time when you made this decision, or first claimed it without apology, or maybe when you felt it challenged in some way? I think what I'm looking for is a little more of a sense of tension (which could be in the conflict between your chosen life and the conventional view, maybe as represented by friends and family, or some more internal conflict).
Just some ideas for you to think about--this is well done as is!